Top 5 Ways To Get Off Work To See March Madness

I am sure that there are a lot of you out there that want to be home for the opening days of the NCAA Tournament. I mean it is probably the best 2 day period for sports all year and if you are stuck at work for part of it that would suck.

Hell if you live on the West Coast you might miss the first 3 games each day. I don't know if I could live with myself if I missed that much.

So the question becomes how do you get off work for those two days without feeling guilty about screwing your employer?

In my book there are 5 sure fire ways to pull it off. If you try any of these remember two important things....DO NOT let anyone know you are a huge basketball fan and don't go to a public place where a coworker or boss can see you watching the games. IF you must go out to a bar you better go out of town. If you office does a pool for the brackets don't talk much about it, pretend that you are just guessing. This way they won't think you are taking off intentionally.

Number 5: Play Hooky

This is a classic excuse but it is not perfect. The best way to pull it off is to mope around the office on Wednesday and make sure people think you are coming down with something. Spend the day coughing, pretending your nauseous, and whining a lot! Oh and you can't eat much. Sneak little snacks during the morning and afternoon but DO NOT EAT LUNCH! And make sure your coworkers know you aren't eating lunch because you are sick. That way when you call of on Thursday and Friday people think you are actually sick.

Excuse Number 4: Actually Injure Yourself at Work

Depending on your job this will either be easy or impossible. If you work at a desk all day and don't do anything else it is going to be harder to pull off. But if you work in a warehouse or are a construction worker this should be a breeze. The unfortunate part of this is you actually have to hurt yourself a bit. Either fall off a ladder, drop something heavy on your foot, or (as a last ditch effort) actually fall down some stairs. And another important factor is to make sure someone is around to see it. That way you have someone to back up your story.

Excuse Number 3: The Dead Relative

This is a classic and can be used multiple times if you really want to. I have never even thought about this cause Karma is a vengeful bitch and I won't want to have any guilt on my conscience. You can either do this one of two ways. You can either build up the illness for a couple days by telling people your relative is in the hospital and sick or you can make it all of a sudden and just call on Thursday and tell your work that your relative died. Either way works, so long as no one at your job knows the person obviously, it just depends on how much you want to put into your story.

Excuse Number 2: Actually Make Yourself Sick

This one will take some time. You do have multiple options though. You can either plan ahead by a few days and start drinking out of the same cup or bottle as someone that is sick or just making sure you around sick people a lot. OR you can do a spur of the moment thing. If you are allergic to anything find it and touch it or eat it on Tuesday night or Wednesday morning. That way you show up to work Wednesday and you are obviously ill and affected and you will probably get sent home. If worse comes to worse you can always eat a mushroom or berry from your yard. The risk there is that you might have to watch the games from the hospital which probably wouldn't be good. BUT it would allow you to see all the games.

Excuse Number 1: Schedule A Surgery or Medical Procedure for Wednesday

*I actually did this one once*

This takes more planning. You have to schedule something valid the day before the tournament. I personally did the wisdom teeth removal. I had 5 wisdom teeth (that's right 5! which makes me wiser than you my friends) and they actually came in okay but kept getting cavities so I had them removed. At the time I had minimal paid days off from my job so I needed something good to see the first round games. So I scheduled my wisdom teeth removal for that Wednesday. I was doped up on painkillers and couldn't eat a lot of junk but I got to see all the first round games.

And I would do it again!!

Would you rather have a vasectomy to stay home? (Deadspin)

If you need any other ideas this website surely has plenty of them for you.


Either way, if you are going to try and be home for the first round you better start planning it now!

Me? I fortunately have plenty of sick time now and taking the days off legitimately.